Betrayal and the Snake Chasing Effect
Betrayal is one of life’s hardest experiences. Whether it’s a partner lying, a friend sharing your secret, or a coworker stealing credit, it feels like a sharp bite—sudden and painful.
Our natural instinct is to replay what happened, dwell on the unfairness, and sometimes even fantasize about revenge. But here’s where the Snake Chasing Effect, a powerful story from writer Sahil Bloom, offers wisdom we can all use.
He tells of a man walking through the woods who’s suddenly bitten by a snake. The bite is painful but survivable—if he heads back to the village for help, he’ll live. But instead of seeking healing, he grows angry and chases the snake. As he runs, the venom spreads, and eventually the man collapses.
The lesson? It wasn’t the bite that killed him—it was chasing the snake.
This is betrayal in a nutshell. The initial hurt is real, but the real damage comes from how we respond.
Why Betrayal Hurts So Much
Psychotherapist Lesley Alderman explains that betrayal pain activates the same brain pathways as physical pain. No wonder it feels like more than “just emotions.” It’s as real as a wound.
And as Nelson Mandela famously said, “Resentment is like drinking poison and hoping it will kill your enemy.”
When we hold on to anger, resentment, or revenge, we’re chasing the snake. And that chase poisons our peace.
How to Heal Instead of Hunt
So, how do we break free from the Snake Chasing Effect? By shifting from revenge to restoration.
Here are four steps:
- Acknowledge the Bite. Betrayal happened. It hurt. Own your feelings.
- Tend the Wound. Journal, talk with trusted friends, or seek therapy.
- Stop Chasing. Recognize when you’re obsessing and choose to redirect.
- Redirect Energy. Invest in what makes you whole: hobbies, health, relationships, joy.
Relationship expert Mel Schilling puts it beautifully: “True power is quiet—allow emotions, but don’t let them consume you.”
The Best Revenge is Rebirth
The Snake Chasing Effect reminds us that healing—not revenge—is the path forward. By letting go of resentment, we remove the snake’s power and reclaim our own.
As The Relationship Centre wisely says, “Sometimes the strongest hearts are the ones that love again after being broken.”
That’s real victory. Not chasing snakes, but living a joyful, peaceful, unapologetic life.
Final Thought
Betrayal hurts, but it doesn’t have to define you. Stop chasing the snake. Heal your wound. And remember: your rebirth is the greatest revenge.
🎁 Download our free guide Stop Chasing the Snake for journaling prompts, healing steps, and affirmations to help you move forward.